This week i'm visiting London every day. I thought about it long and hard, and as much as I love my car, it just didn't seem the best way to get into the centre of London. I was sorely mistaken. Here's a few ways my car is better than a train:
- My car leaves almost the moment i board it. It never makes me wait, and it's always there on time.
- My car only stops when it gets to my destination, or to pick up vital snacks. It doesn't stop at every town along the way, and it takes the most direct route.
- My car never stops to pick up strangers. If it were to stop and pick up a stranger, i'm almost certain they wouldn't sit right next to me due to lack of available seating.
- Even if due to some strange coincedence a random stranger were to be seated next to me in my car, the seats are wide enough for me to be a comfortable distance away from them.
- In my car a single press of a button rolls down the windows. However if you're on a crowded train and someone farts, there's nowhere you can go.
That's not to say i didn't notice any intrinsic benefits from travelling on the faithful train. There were several things i enjoyed:
- On a train, there's more time to admire the view. Often this turns out to be run-down council estates, but still, admiring the view while driving a car just causes accidents.
- You can have short amusing conversations with the random strangers. It's fun to make sarcastic comments about the woman who's having a loud conversation on her mobile. "Do you think she could speak up a bit?"
- By peering over a person's shoulder, you can read pages from the middle of a random novel. It's harder to read the pages on the left side of the book than the right without getting caught, but you still get to enjoy parts of an interesting story.
So there you have it. Trains might not be fast, clean, efficient, timely, free from crowding, cheap or have timetables that anyone outside of Mensa can understand, but they do get you to your destination. Eventually. Sometimes.
3 comments:
This blog rocks. If you don't post in here again, the easter bunny will die, the Aston Martin DB9 will no longer be produced, the evil monkey will move to your closet, and BMW will go out of buisness, leading your car's value to rise to astronomical levels.
"- My car leaves almost the moment i board it. It never makes me wait, and it's always there on time."
Wow!! You'll have to take me to this traffic-less part of the world and show it to me!!
"- In my car a single press of a button rolls down the windows. However if you're on a crowded train and someone farts, there's nowhere you can go."
Oh that is so true. Horrible smells appear out of nowhere on trains, even when you're the only one in the carriage!
Anyway, what about all the other things you can do on the train?
> Read books, newspapers, magazines, religous tombs or misc. scrolls
> Play games on your phone/game boy
> Listen to music
> Listen to podcasts
> Scratch yourself in increasingly worrying places to see if anyone notices
> Make paper aeroplanes out of discarded tickets and throw them at fellow (distant) passengers
> Wonder why they don't have bins in stations for bomb reasons, but they do in trains
" "- My car leaves almost the moment i board it. It never makes me wait, and it's always there on time."
Wow!! You'll have to take me to this traffic-less part of the world and show it to me!!"
I knew someone would pick bones with this. It's always there on-time when i need to use it. Because it's right outside my door. I don't have to wait for it to arrive. Unfortunately I can't control every other moron on the road, so it's not necessarily on-time at the other end. At least not unless i've perfected my mind control device since making this post. *you agree whole-heartedly with me.*
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